In an era where mental health care is increasingly specialized, few practitioners move fluidly between clinical rigor and contemplative depth. Ben Duffy, a psychotherapist and spiritual mentor based at benjamenduffy.com, does exactly that. His approach weaves Internal Family Systems (IFS), Buddhist philosophy, and existential inquiry into a tapestry designed for what he calls "existential liberation."
In this interview, Duffy shares how he navigates the intersection of healing the self and transcending it, offering practical wisdom for both clinicians and seekers.
Question 1: How does combining IFS with Buddhist practices work in a therapy session?
Duffy describes IFS as "surgical in its ability to directly contact pain points and to let the pain itself express what it needs in relationship with us in order to heal." By viewing the psyche as a collection of parts—anger, addiction, unworthiness—clients can build relationships with these inner voices, fostering understanding and integration.
Yet for deeper existential suffering, he shifts to a Buddhist lens. "By recognizing that the self that serves as the basis of our experience is in fact a mental construct that we unconsciously create and solidify, a new depth of freedom opens to us." This insight, he emphasizes, is not a belief but a natural product of close attention to the mind.
Duffy sees both frameworks as essential. "Working at the level of self & at the level of no-self are both necessary if we are to achieve the deepest freedom and beauty possible in our lives." His role is discerning which lens serves the client in the moment.
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Question 2: What does shadow work look like in a therapeutic context versus a purely spiritual one?
For Duffy, the distinction is ultimately arbitrary. "The goal is identical: to make the unconscious conscious." Whether the focus is healing personal trauma or expanding one's worldview, shadow work involves uncovering hidden beliefs and assumptions.
In therapy, this means exploring the stories we hold about our past. He quotes James Hillman: "Our lives may be determined less by our childhood than by the way we have learned to imagine our childhoods." The power lies in choosing narratives that evoke empowerment rather than victimhood.
Spiritually, shadow work extends to our story of reality itself. "All religion & spirituality offers a worldview for us to believe, empower, & thus inhabit," Duffy notes, but these are still stories. Recognizing their constructed nature grants freedom to choose worldviews that evoke "freedom, connection, & love" rather than fear.
Question 3: How do you determine whether a client would benefit more from psychotherapy, life coaching, or spiritual mentorship?
Duffy's approach is refreshingly simple: "I ask the client what their primary intention is in working together." If trauma or painful patterns are central, psychotherapy is the lane. For transitions or practical guidance, life coaching fits. For those seeking "the deepest freedom possible through deep insight into experience," spiritual mentorship is the path.
This client-centered discernment ensures the work aligns with the individual's needs and aspirations.
Question 4: What role does existential philosophy play in trauma recovery?
Duffy emphasizes a somatic approach to trauma, inviting clients to contact discomfort in the body rather than resist it. He cites Carl Jung: "What you resist persists, what you accept transforms." And Shinzen Young's equation: "Suffering = Pain x Resistance." Reducing resistance reduces suffering.
Existential philosophy, he believes, deepens healing by questioning ingrained assumptions about self and reality. "Our trauma & our experience as a whole is directly tied to the stories we unconsciously hold about who we are, the nature of reality, and the nature of life & death." By loosening resistance to these narratives, clients can choose new ones—"acceptance rather than resistance, empowerment rather than victimhood, & love rather than fear."
Question 5: How can someone know if they are ready for deeper inner work versus surface-level coping strategies?
Duffy's guidance is to follow curiosity and intention. When clients feel drawn to explore the roots of their suffering rather than just manage symptoms, they may be ready for deeper work. He encourages honest self-assessment: Are you seeking relief or transformation? The answer points the way.
For those interested in exploring this integrated approach, Duffy's practice offers a bridge between clinical healing and spiritual awakening. His work reminds us that the deepest freedom may lie not in fixing the self, but in understanding its constructed nature—and in choosing, moment by moment, the story we inhabit.